Agent Orange #77
"Agent Orange spent half a lifetime scouring the darkest corners of the universe (and beyond!!!) for an epic biographical tale with which to entertain her internet minions. Realizing that even the most finely honed fiction cannot offer even a fraction of the thrilling edge-of-your-seat excitement of reality, she shared some candid looks at her utterly fascinating world. Agent Orange LOVES: Knocking girls down, long walks on the beach whilst gazing contemptuously into the souless eyes of her lovers and grilling unicorn flank steaks medium rare with a nice garlic-cilantro rub. She prefers grass fed, hormone-free unicorn meat, but it IS kind of pricey these days unless you find a really stellar sale. Agent Orange HATES: Narcissism, Narwhales and the Chronicles of Narnia (because C.S.Lewis was pretty much asking to get punched in the face by a belligerent atheist. How did this NOT happen, really?). The End."
Favorites: Agent Orange's Favorite Drink: A delicious Ninkasi beer, so you should probably buy her a pint at the next after-bout party. No, seriously, she won't turn it down. Agent Orange's LEAST Favorite Drink: Her own urine while while awaiting rescue on the lifeboat of an ocean-going vessel. So buy her a pint, but don't expect her to sail the high seas with you. Unless it is for deep sea Narwhale hunting, and then please bring ample bottled water.
